Where is the hickey?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize