He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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