i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize