I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
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I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
BRING THE BAGELS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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