I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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