also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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