she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize