we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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