I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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