there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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