Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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