He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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