hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
