You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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