Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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