maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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