no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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