so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
our cab driver is having phone sex.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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