problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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