Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize