I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Bring me that man meat
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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