i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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