What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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