you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
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I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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