I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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