I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize