I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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