never play flip cup with pint glasses
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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