i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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