I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize