The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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