STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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