Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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