i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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