drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize