yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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