perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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