Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize