drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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