Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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