If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this boner is exhausting
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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