Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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