he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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