You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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