I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize