Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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