HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize