just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
