He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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