why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize